FYI:
You are more than good enough.
There are people here who will listen if it feels like no one else will
I hope I don’t come across as ungrateful, because truly, I am so happy and blessed to have a roof over my head, fresh meals, friends, family, a boyfriend, clothes, internet, water, etc. But that doesn’t change how sometimes I feel like a “failure” deep down.
A failure over what exactly? Well, I don’t really know. Being a good person? Being a kind person? Being happy? Not feeling thankful enough for my life? Its just a combination of everything.
Upon my research for this topic, I found these to be the top three reasons as to why people feel this feeling of never being good enough, and I also found some ways to remind yourself that you are actually more than good enough.
Perfectionism mindset & Imposter syndrome
I have decided to group these two together; as for me, I believe they contrast each other, but yet I have both.
Having such unreachable, unrealistic high standards for oneself fuels depressive and anxious thoughts—feeling not good enough to achieve a goal that probably was unrealistic in the first place.
“The relentless pursuit of flawlessness can lead to low self-worth, depressive and anxiety disorders, high stress in the face of failure, and even suicidality.”
On the other hand, Imposter Syndrome details the idea that an individual person just became ‘lucky’/’successful’ by chance, and people with this worry about the idea they might be found a fraud when others realise, they aren’t so ‘bright’ or ‘smart.’ People who suffer from this worry about how they have to be the person others think they are and worry about getting exposed for not being this person.
“the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like “a fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities.”
The Need for External Validation
The problem with this is that when people become reliant on another person’s validation, they lose sight of their own values and strength.
When looking externally for validation, comparison and envy come to the forefront of one’s mind; some even call comparison “the thief of joy.”
The deal with jealousy and comparison makes humans want more, more, more, and more. When is it enough? When does craving more become dangerous? When does getting more make us feel better? Or do we always feel second-best—like there is always something or someone better out there?
The Internal Void of Low Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, and Self-Blame.
When feeling not good enough, you begin to think such negative and awful things about your soul—things you typically wouldn’t say or think about any other person, especially a person you love.
It is so important to remember that just because you have negative thoughts does not mean that they are true. It is crucial to remember that no one accomplished anything difficult by thinking less about themselves.
Low self-esteem and self-worth can be caused by a range of things: unhappy childhood, stressful life events, mental illness, medical problems, poor performance in one thing etc.
Low self-esteem and self-worth are so damaging to a person’s soul; they create a lack of self-care, a lack of resilience, a fear of trying, and relationship problems.
But how do I ‘fix’ myself to actually feel good enough?
Unfortunately, you can’t hate yourself into changing. You cannot hate yourself for a person you love.
But there are steps and guides that you can follow to help you appreciate yourself a bit more.
So, what does this mean??
Here are some helpful tips I learned that can embrace the way we think and elevate how we think about ourselves through the lens of pure love and intentional thinking to reassure ourselves that we are actually good enough for this universe and for anyone and anything.
Forgive yourself for being so hurtful to your mind and body
You cannot punish yourself for feeling the way you feel- that’s literally what makes you human.
If you spend time hating yourself for getting anxious over something, or feeling depressed, you are probably going to just end up feeling worse and disappointed in yourself.
Write a list of your personal strengths and accomplishments
Here’s some that I found of myself:
- My ability to push through.
- My ability to express forms of love through creativity; dance, music, writing.
- My ability to complete something from start to finish; Highschool, a dance, getting through the day
- my ability to be a generous person
- my love for my animals;
Ask yourself the question: why do I feel incapable of growth? Everybody on this planet is figuring out life just like I am. Everybody is learning, nobody is perfect. Would I say to someone else that I love (my mum for example) that she isn’t ‘“good enough”- no.
Find the drive to feel good enough.
It’s really easy to just mellow in this feeling, as doing something to help relieve it sounds exhausting, which is okay. But I recommend finding something that will drive you to self-improvement, or even just getting out of your room for the day. It is time to refocus!
Here are some examples;
- who did your inner child want to be? Why? Why did you stop aiming for that? Why did you stop aiming for happiness?
- How good it would feel to look back on these times and say “I pushed through it.”
- How good would it feel to be successful in ……?
- How good would it feel to love myself?
- How good would it feel to enjoy life?
Practice Affirmations, and Believe Every Goddamn Word.
“Words have extreme power. When you communicate, your words can not only influence others, but can also transform your internal state on a deep and profound level.” Here are a few ;
Here are a few ;
- I am at home in my body.
- All is well in my world. I am calm, happy, and content.
- I listen with love to my body’s messages.
- I deserve all that is good.
- My happy thoughts help create my healthy body.
- Everything is working out for my highest good.
- I make the decisions for myself.
- I am independent and in control of my life.
- I am worthy of good experiences.
- I am becoming calm with every breath I take.
- I accept all of me unconditionally.
- Every situation is easy for me to handle.
- I am capable.
- My life is a blessing.
- I am strong and confident.
- I allow myself to be who I truly am.
- I am feeling light and at ease.
- Everything is under control.
- I am attracting positive healing energy to myself.
- I have all that I need to get through this day.
Understand the Difference Between Progression and Perfection
Like stated earlier, aiming for perfection can make your self-esteem lower, whereas if you switch your mindset to aim for progress, you may not give up so early on ‘‘not being able to get something first try.’ Seriously, celebrate truly how far you have come!!
Define Happiness to You.
If you got to write the dictionary definition for ‘happiness’, what would you write?
Here’s the oxford dictionaries answer:
“the state of being happy.”
Here’s my answer:
“the ability to feel my soul lift, the ability to have a smile on my face and not feel guilty about it, the ability to surround myself with loved ones, the ability to put joy on another’s person’s face, the ability to feel, the ability to touch, the ability to move my body, the ability to be me.”
Recognise that you are enough.
Thank you for taking the time to read today’s blog
Truly, I feel blessed to even have people who genuinely enjoy my blog.
I love you
